What type of underwear is the best? I have compiled the following types. The default type is one we will call Msupa. These are those nice boxers, briefs, thongs or panties which are made of cotton and were NEW when you bought them. Yes; I Insist New! The rest are as follows ...
1) Senior Citizen: This is an underpant with a few years job experience (second hand underpants) and with several high profile 'referees or previous owners' if you may. The owner is most possibly nuts! And a miser.
2) Sambaza: These are hand me downs from older brothers and/or sisters. They have also seen better days. The owner is most possibly young and most probably disgruntled.He/she is most likely to start a fire during a high school strike.
3) Someni Vijana: These come in a box of three for a hundred and fifty. The owner is normally on a tight shoe string budget thus mostly a student.They are obtained only after alot of armtwisting and the process of purchasing them remains a tale to be re-told.
4) Okoa Jahazi: Any underpants bought on credit. Some of which are never paid for. The owner is most possibly still hiding from the underwear dealer. Lend such people your clothes at your own peril.
5) City Hoppa: a.k.a Grandmother panties, Granny P'z a.k.a Mothers Union. These are the old fashioned large ladies panties. They have very thick panty lines too.The owners can be seen with V.P.L.s (Visible panty lines) along the streets.
6) Magana Flowers: Well, this is the self explanatory type. I still don't understand why ladies insist on wearing these flowered underpants. What does it say about the owner? The flowers are a tribute to the men who have perished while working 'down under'.
7) Under 18: This is an under-size one. The owner doesnt believe he/she is growing bigger and insists on defiling younger (read smaller) members of the panty world. The owners can also be seen regulary adjusting their poor under-18s in public.
8) Peeping Tom: These are underpants with a few peep holes especially for men/guys who want the old soldier down under to peep outside, or people with seriously toxic farts that drill holes in the underwear.
9) G4S: This one is Stolen, mostly by persons playing 'Ponyoka na Ngotha' promotion.They realize they canot afford a nice one and decide to steal from friends, family or neighbors. The new 'owners', while daring, are quite stupid and are mostly caught sooner or later.
10)Bob Marley:First they are multi-coloured and have funny looking shape.Because they are 'mtumba' and mostly 'camera',they only exist in 1 per continent and the owner is said to sing "Iron Lion Zion' everynight as he/she irons,lies on and wears the same pair of knickers everyday.
11)Justin Beiber's:Don't mistake this for the 'under 18s',this are extra-white knickers that you store in your closet.
12) My love: Well this is the one and only under pant owned by the Lone-Under-pant-Club members of our community. Its washed at night, dried at night and worn every day. Why is it called 'my love'. Well, it's because every morning they wake up and pick the ngotha while singing Lionel Ritchie's... 'My love, there's only you in my life'...
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