A girl, we’ll call her Martha for the sake of conversation, left her village for the city, her tale is the tale of many, she left to attend campus, or, as it is known by the locals at the drinking den where her father is Oprah, ‘kambus’. When she got to school she new no one, being a deliberate introvert, she stayed friendless for the two weeks before the archives hit town. her reasons were selfish, she, like most girls, hated any guy who was at her level and the few newbie guys who as so much as happened to look her way ‘talked to the hand’. She had been given loads of advice before she reported, and she knew that campus guys were (and actually are) all about promulgating newbies. She wasn’t some village ing’oho to be laid by just anyone.
Day one of the archives reporting and she made a new friend while queuing at the campus cafeteria, she was a fourth year who said her name was Judy, hot, fleshy, succulent and pleasant. For the one week they bonded, Judy made our girl Martha eve doubt her sexuality, her helpfulness and kindness were goddess-like, the way she talked and handled her business was so sisterly, she cared for Martha like she was a nipple made of wax. Saturday and our two girls board a matatu to the city to shop, or as Judy calls it, to ;pimp Martha and get rid of all that 'muchatha-ness'. Martha is overjoyed, she dreams like any girl does, get to campus, style up, enjoy the freedom, get a live Prince Charming (dead people are perfect you know?).And just incase horny comes to worst, she has Judy for the threesome(and you thought village girls had no fantasies that went further than getting laid on the river bank).First stop, shoe-shopping, Martha fit to nice pairs of wedges and is even kind enough to get Judy a pair of flat shoes(the plastic 1s-sandak?talk about fashion recycling itself)To pay the 350 shillings, she removes her purse, removes 1000bob from the stack of 16 such notes she has been keeping there because she has no bank account yet.
Our two girls then stroll leisurely to a noisy man selling tops for, as he chants all day TOPS MIA!MBROUSE MIA(his words, not mine).Martha spots a nice baby pink top and she wants it. Judy offers to hold her bag and the shoes as she tries it on, and without second thought, Martha hands her the bag and shoes, takes the top from the noisy-now-quiet guy and tries it on. It gets stuck as she takes it off and she takes a minute sorting her braids to allow the garment to come off, by which time she has made up her mind, to buy it because, I hear later, the top must be small enough to hold everything together(is this true ladies, or should I be stoned?)”What do you think Judy?”Wait, no Judy? Where is she? Martha tries to relax; maybe Judy saw something nice and went to check it out.”Huyo dame tulikuwa nay eye umeona ameendaje?”She asks the now-noisy-again vendor. He poses in the middle of his chant like a scratched record, shrugged, and then finished it off “…….mBROUSE MIA”. No Judy, no bag, and no bag means no 16k in brown notes, no China Mobile our Judy lives so much, no make-up she just bought, no shoes, to sum it all up, Judy pinched in broad daylight and Martha is now standing in the middle of a foreign market with that numb feeling you get when you’ve been robbed, that feeling like you can turn back time. The question remains, who was Judy and why is it that to a newbie, all people look the same even now Martha isn’t even sure if Judy was human or even a student. Experience, they say is that ugly teacher you hated so much, the one who walked in on Day 1 and gave you a CAT without even giving you a lesson.
.
No comments:
Post a Comment